#i scrolled really far on tumblr
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Völkerball 2005 photos - backstage
Shared by photographer Frederic Batier on his IG 🌺
love behind the scenes stuff 🖤❤️
#völkerball#rammstein#oliver riedel#paul landers#richard kruspe#frederic batier#i scrolled really far on tumblr#but didn't see them posted yet#maybe i'm not following the right blogs 🌺
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TESfest day 4: thief
Mirvyn, my sweet little disaster. He was my first Skyrim oc I ever took seriously, and thus became the reason I ended up here in the first place back in 2014. It's all his fault.
#yans art#tesfest24#elder scrolls#skyrim#mirvyn shadowmane#iused to have a different tag for him so i think that tag only goes back so far#which is for the best i mean. my art in 2014 was fine but it's wild for me to look at now#also some things i wrote about him is really like. wow i really did just say whatever the hell#(it's not like. BAD bad or anything just like moderately cringe to me now which is fair I was like 17-18 and going thru an identity crisis)#also a relic of tumblr culture at the time. who remembers character tags that were not just the character name but some random garbage#totally nonsensical for organization why did we do that
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Breaking my silence on this
exactly the same thing
#I love the fall promo pictures really I do but rafal's one is so so funny to me#bro got bold glamoured#I had to scroll back so far to find the image aaauuughh#I completely missed while theorising in the lead up to fall that the image for the mermaid king has purple lighting. how did I miss that.#like I was literally only thinking about connections to the main series and forefront of that was Are We Going To Find Out Who Aric's Dad I#and I mean we still didn't (and never will at this rate)#but I could've put a little ore together cmon now#I started interacting with the Tumblr community (under dissectedgirl) when the countdown started cause I remember liketwoswans' posts lmao#sge#tsfgae#school for good and evil#the school for good and evil#fotsge#rotsge#the school of good and evil#rafal mistral
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"Do not feel sorry for the wraiths, they are not here by chance.
Neither are we."
- Xangr to Nae (@lokorum) exploring the blood-floaded fields of Coldharbour
#tesblr#the elder scrolls#oc#artists on tumblr#sketch#dunmer#bosmer#nae#sigma el sangre#sangre#xangr#coldharbour#thats bc im obsessed with nae so far#i have the feeling they both know very different coldharbours#sangre and nae meeting would mean the first died and got stucked in CH for ages#maybe even becoming pretty used to it#but he knew the icy-blueish CH with fire-made-stone soil and vast plasma lakes#xangr is a traveller by essence#he’s an ashlander; not really scared of where he lands#pretty lonely and independant#yet a part of him lounges for some companionship event if it doesnt show#hes the smooth calm and serene type#acts like a shepherd to many mortals#sigma-el
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Notes are cool but when u start talking to me...thats worth 50 notes babey
#dont get me wrong thou its def still worthwhile seeing my shenanigans get acknowledged w likes#like oh!!! it is not dead in here thanks you for seeing me :)#i appreciate that very much#redstrewn talks#meta#not touchstarved-specific tangent in these tags. but semi-related meta stuff#naturally one would assume i prefer a chatroom like discord server bc that's convo#and of course that allows for longer back and forths#but theres a sort of...temporal lock to chats? like to reply to an old conversation no longer works since its buried by new ones#i dont get that sense with posts. at least on tumblr. i know instagram and twitter has that weird culture of “wHy arE yOu sCrOlling sO fAr#baCk mY pOsts yOu STALKER!!!“#but on tumblr its normal to get back to posts that are a little old. even maybe really old#and what happens is conversations dont get locked by time. if someone finds an old post with ideas: they can revisit it and rekindle#those ideas. and maybe continue expanding on it. a conversation gets made where it would have been lost to chats#and imo theres less of a sense of cliqueish fear. like a blog is public to everybody. whereas in a chat it might feel daunting or#intrusive to join a conversation. especially between regulars. no matter if its a public server
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sometimes i like to research the treatment protocols for my various Issues and Problems and it is always very gratifying to find psychiatrists recommend something I am already doing today's rabbit hole was alexithymia because it's very much a the top fell off of the sprinkles container and now my bowl is all sprinkles at the autism sundae bar and it turns out the thing they're doing for that is basically just thinking about how you feel about stuff and practicing untangling it so you can do it faster on the fly and lo and behold that is precisely what my weed fueled self therapy sessions have been about lately
#practicing asking myself if this is really what I want to be doing#sometimes I do wanna be scrolling tumblr! but sometimes I just need to make a decision#I feel like I've had the opportunity to like. slow down and think since yknow the world ended#and like maybe it's self centered of me but like idk I'm trying to be kind to myself#God it just feels so selfish and entitled when people have Real Problems#(me I'm people it is not lost on me that I did sex work cause I couldn't get a job like#as far as markers of poverty go that certainly Is One)#anyway the point is I'm unventing therapy so I don't have to suffer the wretched process of finding a therapist#and then talking out loud#God it's hard enough to conceptualize my thoughts speaking them with my mouth is a Trial#brinn's marble run
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&
#'what do you do for fun?' people ask me#'write 1300 word essays about lincoln's secretary of state' i don't tell them#i am no doubt pushing the limits of your tolerance for american history facts#i'm pushing the limits of my own tolerance for my nerdiness#but i haven't had a fandom this fascinating in years#let me get this out of my system#i feel guilty about flooding my dash with this stuff#i'd feel guiltier except that fandom is kind of tumblr's thing#if i can deal with peoples' ghosts and vampires they can scroll past my presidents#i scheduled the post for tomorrow morning to give you a couple hours' break#i wasn't even going to write it out until i was like 'what other kind of post should i write?'#and the main idea coming to mind was about how the seward-lincoln story was giving me thoughts about some of my ocs#and i decided to cave and just write about the guy himself#it was a lot more extensive and time-consuming than i expected#i got a bit embarrassed when i realized how much time i'd devoted to that this evening#hadn't realized quite how far gone i was#i should really cleanse my mental palate with a fairy tale or two#or at least stop writing these tags and get some sleep
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sometimes i will get bored & go through someone's entire blog since its creation
#& if they have their blog made unsearchable therefore no archive to pick posts from i take it as a challenge#& i really read every post not just skimming i gave up archives caus i find it hard to pay attention to individual posts#plus you never see the full tags & clearly from my postings they serve as the single most important part of a post#the actual post is more of like a title or a sort of epigraph#& i am interested in the Posters themselves like i feel compelled to absorb&gather as much information about them as possible#in an effort to understand them ( as well as myself Many epiphanies & revelations came to me from this activity i recommend it )#i just did this BTW not saying who but god if you never knew of her you totally missed out on the best Poaster tumblr has ever had to offer#her mind was unlike any other & her influence on me is so noticeable even today. wishing her well today & always#also (moving on from that) i even constantly have like 40 tumblr blog tabs open at all times#some that are even i think 3 years old now#i never close them they keep me company i will not really click on yhem either To be honest but those are like my friends My chums;#on my phone as well two year old tabs from when i was still in highschool of tumblr blogs i was reading#i just have so much Love in my heart for Posters real genuine love not interpersonal just as an Observer#well kind of interpersonal when it comes to some#so if you have a tracker & you see someone from north africa spending hours or even days or months on your blog#that would be me#i actually did spend months once back when blogs opened on the side i never shut my laptop off & my tabs are always saved#had to go back & scroll a little to keep the page active to not refresh & i got as far back as 2010 i think#because their blog did not have an archive but NOTHING will stop me OK if you got a Beautiful Mind or Gift Of Curation#i will do anything in my power to enjoy it. without disturbing you ( as much as i can anyway )
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i gotta be real i log onto tumblr and scroll past what feels like 200 astarion posts a day and get increasingly annoyed like "i'm so sick of this dude" style because nobody knows how to be normal about this character on the nobody knows how to be normal about characters website but then i open bg3 and i STILL violently murder the first guy that shows up that's trying to harm him because like that is MY annoying little guy and you can not be mean to him or ELSE 💀💀💀
#literally only took him out like once so far to. well like i said kill the guy in the swamp lol#i don't really need him to open locks. yuvia is doing that by herself just fine because urchin background makes you a lockpicking fiend#but I DO actually like him as a character#i just. forget that sometimes when i scroll through tumblr because some of you??? absolutely unhinged lmaoooo#anyways
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I'm not feeling well today, so I'm in bed, and it's so fucking boring. I wish I at least had my Switch but of course this happens to be the day my husband took it to work with him to download some of my games for me (since we don't have internet yet) 😭
#I'm listening to an audiobook but I'm just not good at lying still and not DOING anything#so I've mostly been looking at rainbow high dolls (when the images are nice enough to load...) & deciding which ones I might buy next month#so far I've been good and haven't impulse bought any but I know it's a really stupid idea anyway#but what else is there to do 😭#I shouldn't have had that takeout yesterday.... it was fucking delicious but my stomach hates me now#wish I could at least scroll through tumblr but no the phone signal is far too bad for that in my room#I really really hope we'll have internet soon 🙃 it's fine when you're keeping busy but I just can't always do that#being sick and not having a distraction sucks so much#personal
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Watching a video on intrusive thoughts (by a psychologist, seems reasonable) and I’ve accidentally done good intrusive thoughts management! I mean. Minus talking to my therapist about them (when I still had a regular therapist) (in my defense I didn’t fully grasp that they were abnormal until recently — or want to explain the random self-harm-y thoughts when they weren’t that intense — and I had more pressing concerns).
Look for patterns: I’m always having shitty intrusive thoughts when I’m tired
Acceptance: idk bruh that’s just what my brain does when it wants to say that it refuses to do more work.
Coping Statements: see above.
(The other things listed weren’t very applicable)
#self harm mention#look I have good skills. like I can ninja my way through some thoughts. I just also need meds because I Can’t deal with the amount of chaos#I had previously in any meaningful way.#brain thoughts#also just fyi if you happen to read these. I’ve been out a lot because I’ve started a job! it’s taking up a lot of time and energy. also my#phone keeps getting really hot if I scroll too far on tumblr so uh#just tumbkr things i guess#but that’s why I haven’t been as active
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I swapped the placement of tumblr and reddit on my phone so I use tumblr more. But now every now and then I’m like “oh I really wanna look at tumblr” instead of passively tapping where reddit used to be I have to intentionally open tumblr and I get a bit confused for a minute
#I would just passively scroll Reddit#and at some point I was like “man I still want this app because sometimes I need to harass the book binding subreddit to help me figure out#what I did wrong but I don’t wanna use that app so much anymore as filler for boredom’’#so I swapped them because stuff I see on tumblr I tend to rlly enjoy n shit#like oh yes I will take some cool fanart for a thing I’m not really into but can still dig#and why yes I will take an interesting long post on a random subject#and I still get my fill of people being a little silly and making fools of themselves#Also reddit just has a uhhh#more aggressive user base almost?#which I feel like may be encouraged by the ability to downvote#but like. minority do dumb thing may only be put into retrospect a few comments down and that’s it#if I see a kind of funky post I can directly promote a person who is putting it into retrospect#also shouting into the wind has a far less direct means of getting a response#I can go crazy in the tags and it’ll mostly be okay
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i dont know if this has been made yet but lets make a fancast for live action ninjago drop some actors guys
#lets make it a group project and have everyone agree on it#the way everyone agreed on andrew garfield as remus lupin back then#at least i think they did#im asking cause i predicted the existing ones so far would most if not all be white#and also i dont know any actors/celebs at all#i scrolled through 'ninjago fancast' on tumblr for like a solid 10 seconds before making this post so take it with a grain of salt#but i DID see ho yeon jung as harumi or skylor which 👀👀#her as harumi would fucking rule#there is one post somewhere with asian actors casted which was awesome but i want this to try and be a COLLECTIVE agreement#i think i have enough reach to pull this off 💀💀#REBLOG GUYS LETS SEE THE CELEBS#lego ninjago#ninjago#i really dont know what to tag other than that#kai ninjago#nya ninjago#jay ninjago#cole ninjago#zane ninjago#lloyd ninjago#wu ninjago#garmadon ninjago#pixal ninjago#i think those would be the main ones
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gotta love when the new tumblr mobile updates are Bad(tm)
#hey listen!#Like the tumblr live thing is kind of a 😒 moment to begin with#but it’s whatever it can be turned off#BUT FOR ONLY SEVEN DAYS APPARENTLY??#And then they really had to go and put all of the follow buttons on the far right?#where my thumb usually is when I’m scrolling?#I’m sure that won’t be terrible at all /s#sigh…#Anyway I want to try making more posts so what better way to start than complaining lol
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op this shit was VIVID (trigger warning: op's post contents - some gore/blood and blurry/implied animal bodies)
(other than the bright reds and the white in the last panel, everything was color picked from my dash with how i saw the post, greens/browns/low contrast reds were all from op's avatar :3 was trying to keep As Much of the vibe as possible)
Geological horror. You find a geode and crack it open and the crystal lining its walls is human blood that can't be genetically matched to anyone. You find a human skeleton but every one of the bones is made from rock, a rock that you know can't be whittled into those shapes. You find layers of clay and loam that sport ancient fossils at the top and the still-rotting corpses of modern animals at the bottom.
#hi im back!!#did part of this last night but it was quickly spiraling out of control and also like 230am lol#I SO FULLY EXPECTED TO JUST *SEE* THIS AS I CONTINUED SCROLLING DOWN THE POST BUT IT WASNT THERE YET?? SO?????#funnily enough this is *not* what i pictured when i first saw it lol not entirely anyway#i was picturing this as a sort of golem creatures remains that are found and the geode is the heart inside the stone ribcage and then#the outter layers around the skeleton of like 'skin/muscles/fat' etc for the body was the layers of claay and loam with fossils#which then made me think it was fuckin MASSIVE lmao#but that one im pretty sure i wouldnt have been able to draw the way i wanted to and i was desperate to finish this one if at all possible#geologists i am so sorry if thats not what a cracked geode looks like i was scared if i looked at ref i would be intimidated and not even#get through the first page LOL i did look at fossil skeletons tho that part was fun:3333#can you tell i was dying by the last panel lmao#but also it works cos i wouldnt want to draw that in focus that graphic anyway ;w; even tho it would work better with the comic..#anyway im just happy i finished it#messy af and should be better but idc😤😤 tumblr comic tm COMPLETED#just me#doodles#comic#geologists#geodes#fossils#ANYWAY HI IF YOURE STILL HERE I HAVE A KOFI AND DO COMMISSIONS EHEHEEE#mayhaps ill post links w a speedpaint.. cos this was honestly kind of the first time i let myself Really backtrack while draawing something#theres the undo button ofc#ill redo the same curved line over and over until the slope is just right lol#but as far as like..just *erasing* whole areas ive been working on for a while or deleting the entire layer and starting over#if i thought of something that would fit a little bit better#i wana see that recording👀#sorrryyyyyyy for the style shifts lmao im pretending its intentional#cos tbf some of it is just not all of it lol ^-^'#described
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Ok real talk is it just me or does the tumblr app sometimes make y’all’s phones heat up bc it does so for me
#especially if I scroll down my feed what it deems too far or whatever#sometimes 2 hours ago posts are enough sometimes it’s closer to posts made 6 hours ago it really depends#think it might be the amount of gifs I’ve loaded or something but ahhh it’s so frustrating and worrying#when my phone is just#hot#yk?#tumblr#tumblr app#real talk
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